When it comes to the divorce process, there are two facets that I feel are central to a family’s future. The first is that it is up to the parents to define what divorce means to their children. The second is that it is up to the divorce professionals to help these parents craft their definition.
Most of the time, we would not be meeting our clients if they could have productive communication and compassion for one another. Trust has been eroded, feelings have been trampled, and connection has been broken. The divorce process can either solidify the negativity or embrace the reality that these two parents will need to find ways to work together even when they live apart. If we start by modeling open communication, teamwork and cooperation it is a teachable moment. When we honor that there are two perspectives that hold merit, it allows the opportunity for future understanding. This is what collaborative divorce offers.
I have been trained as a collaborative professional since 2008 and have been honored to have worked on more than twenty five collaborative divorce cases in Florida.
Throughout the collaborative process, I work to support both clients and professionals. I start by getting to know the clients and then I help them to learn proactive ways to share their interests with one another. In meetings, I am deliberate and attentive; I monitor pacing, notice shifts in emotional states, and intervene when discussion begins to decompensate. Between meetings, if desired, I take on a case management role to maintain continuity, track next steps, and support forward movement. I act as a coach and support as clients make difficult decisions at the most compromising of times.
I hold the belief that, while their marriage may be ending, they will need to function as a family for a very long time. This perspective dictates how I approach parenting plans and time sharing. My goal is that everyone lives happily even after.
When I am not helping couples separate consciously, I work as a marriage and family therapist in my private practice helping my clients cultivate compassion, clarity, curiosity and calm to inspire the changes they need to make to improve the quality of their lives and their relationships.